did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
