I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
