so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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