Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
