Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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