Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
