Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
