He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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