Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
