you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
