I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
