allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
