New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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