is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
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He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
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yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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