I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
COCAINE IS GR8
The Olympian is in my bed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
