But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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