i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
