Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It was confusing and full of hummus
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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