Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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