i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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