fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
