I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
be right there i have to get my cape
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
