So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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