And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
