Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
