sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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