You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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