My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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