this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
