so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
