just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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