he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
