btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
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Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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