do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
