Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
