I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
