I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
