didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
