Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I will die if light touches me.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
