Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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