if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
