i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
