i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
