i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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