This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
