Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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