yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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