is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
