I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
