You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
