I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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