so that wasnt chicken after all
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
