It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
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Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
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I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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