trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
