Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
