You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Randomize
