you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
