there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just found puke in my bra..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
