The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
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I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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