can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
