I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
