Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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