I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
