we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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